23 Dec 2008

A thought for Christmas.

Ahh, Christmas. The time of serenity and good will to all men (& women!). A time for families to get together and renew old feuds. Please don’t let it stress you out. Just remember:

When you’ve picked yourself off the floor and applied the raw steak to the swelling around your eye after truthfully answering the question ‘does my bum look big in this’, or even worse buying that little black dress she wants in a size XX because you know the size 10 she asked for won’t fit her………………………

When you’ve left the dance floor and realised your David Brent impression has gone done like a lead balloon.

Or when the dogs sick (or worse) after eating the chocolates on the Christmas tree – especially the liquor filled ones.

Or when you finally realise that your mother in-law, like a puppy, isn’t just for Christmas, she’s for life!

Read this prayer written especially for the stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I cannot accept.
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow.
And, finally, help me to remember…………
When I’m having a bad day and it seems people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth.

And when the heat is really on in the kitchen Christmas day take time out with a cold beer and reflect on the fact things could be an awful lot worse……….

It could be you stark b*llock naked with 2 Lbs of sausage meat, an onion and a carrot stuffed up your jacks slowly roasting in the oven.


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